Category: 2013

Powerfully Create Your 2014 With Three Words

Challenge, anyone? If so, you came to the right place. This is straightforward: pick three words for 2014 and use them as your personal mantra to powerfully create your reality for 2014. Set an intention, stick with it, and see what manifests. That’s it. Skeptical? Read on.

When I became a member of Bodhi Spiritual Center in January 2013 I was given an opportunity to boldly declare in three words — in front of the congregation — who I was here to be as a member of the community for 2013. I chose: courage, faith, and resilience.

I don’t recall how much time it took to come up with the words or how I settled upon them; I just knew they resonated. Naturally, I had no idea how this year would unfold. Looking back on 2013, I can’t help but laugh and delight in all that’s transpired. It’s been an incredible year of explosive personal and spiritual growth. There have been difficult times, no doubt, but it’s all for my evolution and I call it good. I’ve always dreamed of being the woman I am right here, right now. A few short years ago I believed it to be impossible.

I am courageous because I crash up against endless fear on my journey as a coach but I choose to take the next step anyway. I am faith because I have no idea where the money will flow from to fund my $15,000 coach training/personal transformation program but I know anything is possible and the universe fully supports me. I am resilient because I am now wide open to love and vulnerability in romantic relationships after the crumbling of a very codependent 5 year relationship that ended 13 months ago.

This was my first attempt with intention setting. I didn’t know at the time I was doing so. I just said my three words on that stage and somehow remembered to recite them to myself every now and again.

As 2013 comes to a close I invite you dream up your most desired reality. In this dream life flows effortlessly with ease and grace. There are no boundaries. You can have anything, be anything, do anything. You are fully supported. You can’t fail. What is possible?

Let your heart tell you who you are here to be for 2014. Pick three words. Recite your words as a personal mantra anytime and especially during the trying times. I guarantee 2014 will be a reflection of your three words.

“You are a creator; you create with your every thought. You often create by default, for you are getting what you are giving your attention to wanted or unwanted but you know by how it feels if what you are getting (creating) is what you are wanting or if it is not what you are wanting. (Where is your attention focused?)”

-Abraham Hicks

My Sexy Spiritual Tookit: 9 Tools to Anchor in Divine Essence

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Every now and again, a situation occurs and it goes dark. I’m not talking dark with city lights around so you can still see your surroundings. I mean pitch ass black — like I’m on an ocean liner in the middle of the Atlantic with no thing around for hundreds of miles. Pitch. Ass. Black. After torturing myself with fearful stories for what seems like an eternity, I remember. I remember who I am.

Inspired by an assignment for a class at my church, I created My Sexy Spiritual Toolkit. When life is a cluster, I open this box and find the practices/tools to assist in guiding me back to my Intrinsic Radiance.

1. Affirmations — I use affirmation as a reminder of my spiritual truth: I am whole and complete. It’s all that ever was true and all that will ever be true. I have evolved to know this in my core. When the pain I am in consumes me, I anchor in this truth. A favorite affirmation is, “I am powerful, deliberate, co-creator.” I’d like to claim this as my own brilliance but I’m not sure if I jacked it from Esther and Jerry Hicks Law of Attraction.

2. Makeup Brush — The brush reminds me that I am the artist of my life. For 29 years I held to the story that I am not creative since I didn’t paint, dance, sing, act, play an instrument, etc. Taking classes at my church opened my mind to new possibilities and dissolved the stories. I have since been writing a lot more and publishing works online. I also published my Intrinsic Radiance Facebook page. I am creative!

3. Band-Aids — Sometimes I get lost in the dark. I fumble around bumping into things and hurting myself, believing the seductive lies of the fearful child within. I have small, medium, and large bandages for times I really mess myself up. When it hurts enough I usually remember I have a choice to create my life. This choice allows space to be playful.

4. Frog — When I’m lighthearted and playful life is magical. It’s an adventure. I remember that my ego is crazy making and laugh at myself and the stories my ego has me buying into every day. It’s really not the end of the world. It’s all good. The frog makes me smile and feel good.

5. Flashlight — Light banishes darkness. My intrinsic radiance may have been covered up or dimmed during struggles, but it was never completely out. It’s impossible! The flashlight reminds me of my inner light. I courageously take a step forward directly into fear and shine my light.

6. Ring — With my light shining I feel good. I am more apt to align and operate from my wholeness. I keep a ring in my kit to symbolize my wholeness and commitment to myself.

7. Power of Now — When I’m operating from wholeness I can remember to stay (mostly) present. Presence brings me to the now. The moment of creation. Anything in the past or future is irrelevant, as only the present moment exists. I open this powerful book to reflect upon the wisdom contained within.

8. Affirmative Prayer — Presence means I am aware of the moment at hand. When aware I’m readily able to identify that I am out of alignment by assessing my feelings. I use the powerful tool of affirmative prayer to recognize Source, declare my wholeness and union with Source, and claim my power, abundance, clarity, freedom, love, peace, etc. It’s exhilarating to state my truth and claim it now.

9. Japa Mala — AKA Hindu prayer beads. I haven’t explored much in the way of mantra meditation with beads, but this visual reminds me I have an option to meditate in any way I choose. Meditation is my way of connecting with and listening to my divine.

This is not a magical box I open then everything undesirable drifts away. Rather, it is a reminder to anchor in Source. I can talk, read and write about these practices all I want. Or I can just hush up and use them, seeing what works for the moment. Action commands results. I liken it to a re-training of the brain. These tools aid in soothing the self-inflicted suffering from habitual negative thinking. I’m always pleasantly surprised and reminded that the peace of God is within.

Peace is an attribute in you, you cannot find it outside.

A Course In Miracles

5 Practices for Self-Induced Warm Fuzzies

Access pleasurable feelings on demand.

In my current work as a Certified Surgical Technologist, I am excellent at what I do. Oh yes, I said it. Work friends, colleagues, and higher-ups regularly hear me praising myself for a job well done/knowing I excel. Anyone on the outside looking in can easily mistake it for pompous asshole-ness. Some work friends think it’s hilarious. Others just roll their eyes, shake their heads, and say, “Oh, Judy!” The thing is, what others think of me at work truly has no bearing on my feeling for or about myself. Why? Because I believe with every cell of my being that I am exceptional. Warm fuzzies? Absolutely!

In contrast, let’s sneak a peek at an area in which (until 2 weeks ago) I felt a hot mess: the romantic relationship. Dun, dun, dun! Yep, I’ve been stunted with understanding men and approaching relationships with feminine ease and grace. I had my second 5 year relationship end in November 2012. You read that right — second 5 year relationship. The common denominator? Miss Judy Zaba. What it boils down to is my beliefs about myself regarding men, dating, and romance were (and sometimes still are) total crap. More often than not I’d believe the horrendous lies my mind crafted. I’m not good enough. I don’t deserve a good man. I’m always going to f it up! Waah, waaah, waaaah…do you hear that? Sounds like a violin.

Fast forward a year. Although I am crystal clear about what hasn’t worked I still have to apply and practice this knowledge. The most valuable idea I’ve come to know is that everything circles back to my relationship with self. Do I love me? Am I gentle with me? Do I trust me? Do I forgive me? The answer to all those questions was a resounding hell no in December 2012. Let’s just say you can read all materials and listen to every expert on this planet, but if you forget, refuse to, or just plain don’t practice any self-love skills you’re going to be back at square one. So here I am at square one wondering how I got here, but not really. I know I didn’t continue to practice. I met this guy and all warm fuzzy rituals were toast. It was his turn to show me the love. He needed to produce the warm fuzzies within me. And if not? Well someone else will. Boom! Crash! Kapow! Okay, okay, it wasn’t that dramatic. I’m just a fiery gal! We are still dating, by the way.

My commitment to myself has been renewed. Even though I “backtracked” I am still farther ahead than I was last year. I’ve been very conscious of and candid about my projections onto this man throughout our courtship. With practice, self-forgiveness, and a renewed spirit, I have adjusted most bratty behaviors to minimize and damn near stop the nonsense. The “issues” I’m continuing to see are a reflection of my relationship with me. So what’s a gal to do? I’m returning to me. I’m anchoring in my spiritual and self-love practices. I’m creating and maintaining my own stash of warm fuzzies.

Here’s what you can do to create and keep the warm fuzzies flowing:

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1. Hug yourself — Yes I wake up in the a.m. and say “Good morning beautiful!” as I hug myself. It’s insanely cheesy in the beginning, but it becomes a whole other animal after practicing for a bit. I dare you to try it!

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2. 10 minute morning meditation — I’ve been in engaging in silent meditation thus far. The thoughts in my mind race at Danica Patrick speeds, but it’s all good. I’m still trying and that’s all I can do each day. 10 minutes a bit much? I hear you. Start with 1 minute a day and tailor your meditation practice to whatever suits you.

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3. Admire yourself in the mirror — Okay, so anyone who knows me is laughing hysterically because I check myself out in mirrors any chance I get. But really, this is different. I look deeply into my eyes until I feel a smile creeping across my face, incredible gratitude flowering open my heart, or tears forming at the sight of the true me. I double dare you to try this one.

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4. Compliment yourself often/Receive Compliments — Seriously, who doesn’t like compliments? While admiring yourself in the mirror just go ahead and spew sweet nothings to your beautiful self. Can’t think of anything? Start with something like, “I admire your courage for taking a step towards loving me. “ Boom! Done. This goes for accepting compliments too. Just smile and say thank you. I’ve learned that gracefully accepting a compliment creates waves of warm fuzzies versus deflecting.

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5. Self-Celebration Journal — Each week I keep a record of events, actions and situations in which I have a personal win. My examples: I write another post for Medium when my mind has been telling me I’m a crappy writer. I post another picture, thought, or quote on my Facebook page when my ego has been insisting I’m lazy and won’t ever be successful as a coach. I talk and act as if I am already an accomplished coach, even when I doubt myself. When that inner grey cloud tries to stop my shine, informing me that I haven’t done enough, I whip out my journal and reflect on the past week. The clouds disappear instantaneously!

These practices support a return to self. The self within that is eternal, complete, safe, now and always. It is very much acceptable to listen to the mind’s fearful stories and lovingly acknowledge those stories. Then, take a courageous stand for self-love and let your mind know you are choosing to believe new thoughts. Choose the new thoughts repeatedly. Seeds are planted with practice. Your flowers will bloom when it’s time, not a moment sooner, nor a moment later. Be gentle with yourselves.

“It is impossible to be hurt except by your own thoughts.” — A Course in Miracles (p. 365)

Warm fuzzies activate!

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Why You Should Absolutely be Creepy/Talk to That Creeper

I’m sure most of you have played the I’m-looking-at-you-but-not-really-looking-at-you game with a stranger. You know, your eyes meet and then you (or said creeper) hurriedly looks away. Your eyes meet again and you look away again. Now you’re creepy. It happens yet another time. Congratulations! You’re now a major creeper and they just know you’re undressing them with your eyes — or is it the other way around? Hmmm. Your gaze may meet theirs once more -or if you’re feeling bold- a few more times until one of you decide you’ve had enough.

In the novel The Celestine Prophecy, James Redfield says it’s not a coinkidink, nor are you creepy. Deep exhale! (Unless you are really a creep.) So what does it mean? I found the following summary with a simple Google search:

“Sudden, spontaneous eye contact or a sense or recognition indicates the two people involved should talk. Such recognition indicates that person is in a similar ‘thought group’ as yourself and that one or both of you have information which needs to be exchanged.” (http://www.spirit-web.org/mysteries/occult/the-9-insights-of-the-celestine-prophecy)

Well that’s bizarre. Sounds like some new age-y crapola, right? Well whatever your opinion, I hereby request you open your mind for a few minutes. Let’s pretend it’s true. What if, instead of looking away for the 6th time, you become consciously aware of the unconscious interest? After all, you’re playing the I’m-looking-at-you-but-not-really-looking-at-you game because something within you is curious about the other and likely, vice-versa. What could be possible if you march up to said stranger/creeper and strike up a conversation? Ok, let’s make a list because really, who doesn’t like a list?

You could:

(a) be labeled a creep and be instantly rejected

(b) be entertained for a bit and still be dismissed as a creeper

(c) be entertained and exchange some non-essential info, never speaking again

(d) score a date (where are all my optimists at?!? whoop! whoop!)

(d) become engaged in a conversation where info comes up that is so “coincidental” it’s freaky. Freaky in a good way. No not that way — minds out of the gutter please!

(e) insert any plausible option I failed to mention

One Saturday in September I went to an observation session of the coach training program I was considering joining next year. During the session my eyes kept meeting the eyes of a gentleman who was intermittently working a video camera (the observation was a recorded session for teaching purposes). I played the I’m-looking-at-you-but-not-really-looking-at-you game and felt like a huge weirdo. However, I was consciously aware that something in me was curious. What the hell that meant I didn’t know. My mind labeled it crazy and I kept on keepin’ on with the observation. At the end, the people observing each took a turn to speak. We introduced ourselves and stated why we were present, adding anything else we wanted to share. When it was my turn I mentioned that my spirituality was (and is) a priority in my life. After I spoke, my fellow game player spoke up. Enter Dave. Dave’s coaching practice has spirituality infused into it because the spiritual path was his natural progression in life. I smiled, realizing the connection. A few other observers went on to share after that. At the very end, the host and hostess announced there was a free coaching session offered with anyone in the room. Zing! There it was again. I marched up to Dave and told him I was interested in the free session with him. We exchanged info and set up the call.

The rest is history. I was already toying with the idea of hiring a coach. I hired Dave as my coach at the end of the first call because my inner guide told me to do so before hanging up. I’d wanted to make a shift but would always become scared, remain stuck, bitch and moan, rinse and repeat. This had been going on for three years. I wanted to get some accountability action going on. Dave and I vibe. I look forward to his probing questions and support each week. I curse, he curses. I freak out, he reminds me to center before speaking further. I’m vulnerable and he acknowledges my courage, integrity, or whatever rock-star quality I exhibited by examining my fears that week.

So what am I babbling about? It’s simple, really. Get out of your comfort zone. Expand. Talk to creepy people. Be the creepy person. Life is full of infinite possibilities if you are open. I’m saying this because it’s the advice I need to hear. As Richard Bach said, “We teach best what we most need to learn.”

So here I am, living and sharing.

An Autobiography in 5 Chapters

Watching the Self Evolve

 

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Chapter 1

I jump into the ocean to play in the vigorous waves.

The waves jostle me left, right, and then over.

I’m under the water now — fighting, drowning.

How did this happen? I just wanted to play. The ocean hates me.

After an exhausting struggle I regain control and get out.

Chapter 2

I jump into the ocean to play in the vigorous waves.

The waves won’t fool me this time!

The waves jostle me left, right, and then over.

I’m under the water — fighting, drowning, again.

How the hell did I get here AGAIN?!? I’m confused. The ocean really hates me.

It takes almost as long as the first time to regain control, but I get out.

Chapter 3

I jump into the ocean to play in the vigorous waves.

Third time’s the charm Mr. Ocean. I got this!

The waves jostle me left, right, and then over.

It’s clear: I’ve created a habit of getting myself into undesirable situations.

This is familiar.

I relax into the current, saving my stamina for the right time to get out.

I get out swiftly.

Chapter 4

I cautiously enter into the ocean to play in the vigorous waves.

The waves crash against my calves.

I get out immediately.

Chapter 5

I admire the vigorous ocean waves from the beach.

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