Last night I invited her into my bed

Dirty
Raw
Wild

Her appearance disheveled
Not yet bathed 
Her energy strong

She desired my attention
She desired my time
She desired my full presence

Yet

She stood there
Muted
Still

Bound

I could read her effortelssly

The lack of connection to her innocence
The lack of knowing her beauty
Her inability to receive
The familiar frog in her throat

She didn’t dare ask to crawl into bed with me 

Yet

She stood there
Muted
Still

Aching

Desiring to be held
Desiring to be heard
Desiring to be accepted
Desiring to be loved as is

Dirty
Raw
Wild

I pat the bed
Pull back the sheet
Fluff the pillow
“Come”

Face like a vault
Not giving of any of herself
Calculated non sharing of her inner realm
She slides in next to me

I lovingly grab her
I press her tight against my body
I kiss her head
I stroke her hair

“I love you
I want to hear you

Hesitant
Eyes darting right to left
And back
Staring straight ahead

She softens
She opens
“Are you sure?”

“Yes”

“Well I think you’re trying to off me
Like run away or ditch me
You don’t want me”

“Oh honey
I can understand
I’ve been so busy”

“Yeah + you’re far ahead of me
I don’t know if you will remember me
I don’t know that you’ll come back”

“I totally get it
You must feel so scared”

“Yes”

And just like that
My heart swells open
A wave of intense love
Crashing upon her

I pull her tight
I nuzzle my face into her
In the tight space between her shoulder + jaw

“I’m sorry
I’m here for you
I know it doesn’t look like it
I know you’re scared
I want you to know I love you”

The vault opens
She smiles
Her eyes meet mine

“I know that now
I can feel you
I want to go with you”

Last night I invited her into my bed

Dirty
Raw
Wild

She is me
Age 7
My Lil’ Judy

She is you
Insert her age here
Your Lil’ Girl

She is me
You are she
She is we

We are One

Dirty
Raw
Wild

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